Shadows and Regrets
by Burst.ofSILENCE
Summary: Like it or not, too many things were left unsaid. Luke and Thalia, a year after the war. Oneshot Luke/Thalia


**Hey world! Here's a little Luke/Thalia angst for 'ya. To tell you the truth, this has been idling about in my computer for almost a year now, but I only finished it, like, NOW. It isn't one of my better works (personally, my faves are still 'Instinctive' and 'Burying the Hatchet'. Go check it out! *shamelessly promotes other fics*), but I absolutely LOVE Yellowcard and I think this song fits Luke and Thalia pretty well.**

**Disclaimer: Percy Jackson belongs to Rick Riordan and the song Shadows and Regrets belongs to Yellowcard. I do not own either one. *sobs***

******BTW, this completely ignores The Lost Hero. 'Cause in my opinion, RR should've given Percy and Annabeth at least a year to enjoy themselves before messing up their lives _again._**

* * *

**Shadows and Regrets**  
_We let go of the rest..._

_I'm back, back in town,  
__And everything has changed._

Thalia found herself atop Half-Blood Hill, right beside her pine tree. Lady Artemis had asked the Hunters to stay at camp while the goddess took care of some matters up at Olympus.

It's been a year since the war, and already the number of campers have tripled. Kids of all ages were running about, at the canoe lake, at the arena, even at the mess hall. At least a dozen new cabins have been added, and camp hadn't looked any livelier in a long time. As she walked towards the cabins, Thalia found herself frowning slightly.

It's only been a year, but it feels like the camp she knew was so long ago.

_I feel, feel let down,_  
_The faces stay the same._

"Thalia!" She heard someone scream. Turning around, she was met with a fierce hug from her best friend, Annabeth. The Hunter grinned.

"Hey kiddo! How's it going? Old Kelp Head treating you well?"

"Hey! Watch it, Pinecone Face!" A voice behind her had said. She laughed and hugged her cousin as well.

"Aww, you know I mean it in a good way, Perce." She told him as they pulled away. The son of the Sea God grinned toothily, wrapping an arm around his girlfriend's waist. Annabeth blushed, and Thalia couldn't help but smirk. Even a year after they started dating (and even longer after they started _flirting_), it seemed that the blond demigod still wasn't used to openly showing affection.

"W-Well, we have to go train some campers in sword-fighting. We'll talk some more later!" Annabeth said, already heading off towards the arena and throwing a wave behind her shoulder.

"Nice seeing you again, Thals!" Percy hollered before taking off after his girlfriend.

Thalia sighed. They looked so happy. She had to admit: she was jealous.

_(Because sometime long ago, she thought she shared the same thing with a boy she once knew.)_

_I see, see shadows,  
__Of who we used to be._

The Zeus cabin was as silent as when she first entered it three years ago. Honestly, she never felt much at home in here. The cabin had a gloomy, lonely feeling to it, and a thin layer of dust lined the walls and floor. To top it off, there was that enormous statue of her father staring at her, piercing her soul like the very lightning he wielded. Without a doubt, feeling at home was the last thing on her mind.

Thalia headed towards her makeshift bed in one of the alcoves – the only place in the entire cabin where the statue wasn't visible. It was just as she left it: a dark green bedroll, a small camping lantern, and some old photos lying around. Dropping her things onto the hardwood floor, she sat down and picked one of the photos up. Thalia couldn't help but smile.

It was an old photo, taken and given by a stranger when they were still on the run. It showed Thalia, Luke and Annabeth resting by a tree in Central Park. Thalia was glowering at Luke, who was grinning like a cheshire cat. The son of Hermes looked like he just pulled a prank. Annabeth, who was just seven at that time, was caught mid-laugh, pointing at Thalia's colorful – and by colorful, she meant _rainbow _colorful. Sparkle-y, too – face. The daughter of Zeus closed her eyes and let the memory wash over her.

_When I drive, drive so slow,  
__Through this memory._

_(New York; October 5th, 2000)_

"_Dammit, Luke! This isn't funny!" Thalia screamed. A seven-year-old Annabeth giggled as the last member of their trio grinned mischievously._

_They were in Central Park, having just bought (or stolen; not much of a difference) their lunch. Thalia didn't know how he did it, but Luke somehow managed to snag packets of colorful sand and glitter as well. He probably thought: 'Hey, I can use this to mess with Thalia!'_

_Needless to say, the daughter of Zeus was annoyed... Scratch that. She was beyond being annoyed; she was _pissed_._

"_Aww, c'mon Thals. I said I was sorry." He had said, albeit a little teasingly. She harrumphed and turned away, furiously scrubbing the sand and gllitter off her face. When Luke saw that the daughter of Zeus still wasn't letting up, he sighed and walked towards her. Thalia, on the other hand, still had her back turned to him. She had already given up on her shiny face._

"_Hey." He said. She turned her head to him moodily. Luke resisted the urge to crack: 'you're acting like your father when he's being a bratty git.' Stupid ADHD. He doubted he'd be forgiven that way. Instead, he held out his arms and gave her an apologetic smile._ _She rolled her eyes but smiled, giving in and stepping into his embrace._

"_Bah. I can't stay mad at you." She said, accepting his hug. From the corner of her eye, she saw Annabeth stand up and walk towards them. She smiled and freed one arm, wrapping it around the young blonde. "At either of you. I love you guys too much."_

_Annabeth grinned, her wide gray eyes looking at them both. "We love you, too. Right, Luke?"_

_When we were only kids,  
__And we were best of friends,_  
_And we hoped for the best, _

_The boy in question smiled tenderly at Thalia. "Yeah. We do. So much."_

_And let go of the rest._

A lone tear escaped the demigod's eye. Things were so much easier back then.

"Thalia?" Phoebe, her second-in-command said from outside the front door, snapping her out of her reverie. "It's almost time for archery."

"Y-yeah. I'll be right there."

With one last glance at the photo, she set it down and headed out of her cabin.

_'Those days are long gone.'_

_I heard, heard myself_  
_Say things I'd take back._

Down in the Underworld, a man in his early twenties sat in Elysium. Over the past year, many of the other residents of the area came to know him as the man who sat by the small pond, because he was never away from the shallow pool for too long.

Of course, had they known that the pond acted as a looking glass into the mortal world, they wouldn't have left its side, either.

For the past year, Luke Castellan has been abusing the Pool of Sight (which he found out about from Nico) to see how things were outside the Underworld. Sometimes, he'd check up on Annabeth, who was doing great as the official architect of Olympus. Other times, he would watch Percy; personally, he found it amusing how smitten the boy was with the blond daughter of Athena. But more often than not, the son of Hermes would find himself asking the Pool of Sight to show him one person.

Take now, for instance. The pool showed a girl, no older than fifteen, with dark spiky hair and bright blue eyes. She was at the archery range at Camp Half-Blood, expertly shooting an arrow and hitting the bull's eye with deadly accuracy.

The girl in the pool was Thalia Grace. His... friend? Partner? He wasn't sure what to call her. They were best friends once (he'd like to think they were something more, even), but too much has happened in the last decade. They weren't the same fourteen-year-old boy and twelve-year-old girl who were on the run together all those years ago. Too much has changed. And yet, too much had been left unsaid, too.

Despite having only lived for twenty-three years, Luke Castellan has had more than his fair share of regrets. He's said things, done things he was in no way proud of. Joining Kronos, betraying Annabeth, who'd been like a sister to him, poisoning Thalia's tree... He didn't even get to apologize for that one.

The son of Hermes wished things had turned out differently. Maybe then, he wouldn't be a dead man, wasting his afterlife beside this damned pool just to see them. To see _her._

(Maybe then, he'd actually _be there_ instead of just watching.)

_If I could, could re-tell  
__And make these stories last._

Even though there was no use in trying to change the past, there was still a small part of him that wished he could. Most of his mistakes could have been undone and many lives could have been spared, if that were the case.

_'Like thiers.' _He thought as he looked up towards a couple that were chatting with each other a few feet away.

Charles Beckendorf and Sliena Beauregard were two of the numerous casualties from the war. Admittedly, when Luke first arrived at Elysium, he was unsure of how they would react to him. He caused both their deaths, after all. The son of Hermes felt immensely guilty about what he had done to both of them: messing up their relationship, tricking Silena into becoming his spy, and allowing Beckendorf to be killed on the Princess Andromeda. Miraculously, they'd forgiven him without much thought. He wasn't sure he deserved it at all.

Then again, he wasn't even sure he deserved to be here in Elysium.

Sure, he did the right thing in the end, but it was entirely his fault in first place. The two demigods in front of him would always be a reminder of the tragedies he had caused.

He smiled bitterly.

At least _they_ still got their happily ever after. He, on the other hand... Well, that was a different story.

_I see, see shadows  
__Of who we'll always be._

Luke's vision flickered, and for an instant, Beckendorf's and Silena's forms changed. They were both younger, him about fourteen and her about twelve. Beckendorf's skin grew paler, his body lankier, and his face more elfin. His hair became honey blond and when he smiled, his blue eyes lit up in mischief. On the other hand, Silena's long beautiful hair was cropped short until it was a spiky black mop on her head. When she looked up, her electric blue eyes seemed to dance with powerful voltage.

_Him and Thalia._

Luke frowned and shook his head, desperately trying to get his vision to return to normal.

"_Hey Luke, you'll always be there for me and Annabeth, right?"_

No. Nononono_gods__no__. _Not her voice, _please._

"_Forever's forever, Thalia. You can't get rid of me that easily." _He heard his own teasing voice reply.

"_Really, now?" _She countered skeptically. He shut his eyes tight, covering his ears with his hands. Make it stop...

"_Sorry, Sparky, but like it or not, you're stuck with me."_

"_I love you... Charlie."_

"_I love you too... Silena."_

Luke's eyes snapped open. True enough, he was seeing Beckendorf and Silena again. That didn't mean he was happy, though. He sighed.

The Fates must have been getting a kick out of showing him things he could never have.

_When I drive, drive these roads  
__That made our memories._

Speaking of things he could never have, he turned back to the pool just in time to see that Thalia's archery practice was over, and that she was now headed for Zeus's fist. Annabeth was already there, waiting for her. Luke had to smile at his two girls, sitting on top of the rock formation and just talking. Annabeth was recounting one of her experiences from her sophomore year. She mentioned something that made Thalia throw her head back and laugh, making his heart tug painfully.

_Gods, she was heartbreakingly beautiful._

He hasn't seen her laugh in ages. There had always been something enchanting about how she laughed; how her eyes would light up and how carefree she looked.

_When we were only kids,  
__And we were best of friends,_  
_And we hoped for the best,  
__And let go of the rest._

Not really thinking about it, he reached out in an attempt to touch Thalia's face, causing a ripple to cut through the water. Luke quickly drew his hand back, but it was already too late, The ripple had already distorted the image. He couldn't see Thalia or Annabeth anymore.

He tried to bring the image back, but then he remembered something Nico told him before. _"Once the image was disturbed, the Pool of Sight will stop working. The time it takes for it to work again usually depends on how long the pool was touched. But still, it could take hours."_ He sighed again.

Like he said, things he could never have.

_The shadows and regrets,  
__Let go of the rest._

_Everything has changed,_  
_(Everything has changed)_  
_The faces stay the same_  
_(Faces stay the same)_

_(Los Angeles; March 10th, 1997)_

"_Hey, you okay?" An eleven-year-old boy asked her, frowning. Her electric blue eyes glared at his sky blue ones._

"_I'm fine. It's Nothing." She replied tersely, ignoring the rumbling coming from her stomach. Apparently, he couldn't take the hint that she wanted to be alone. He plopped down next to her on the pavement._

"_Sure doesn't sound like nothing." He looked at her closely, noticing for the first time how young she was. She must've been two years younger than him. "Where's your mom, kiddo?"_

_She looked away, sulking. "Don't know, don't care." Then, she added reluctantly: "I ran away."_

"_Huh. That makes two of us." She turned to face the boy, who was currently digging through his backpack. "Found it!" He pulled out a slightly squished sandwich bag. He held it out to her._

"_I was saving this for later, but hey. Us runaways gotta stick together."_

"_Thanks." She mumbled, taking a huge bite out of the sandwich. She would never have admitted it, but she was _starving.

"_I'm Luke, by the way." His grin was infectious; she just had to smile back. She gripped his outstretched hand and shook it._

"_Thalia."_

"_Nice name. So Thalia, what do you say to running away together?"_

_Everything has changed,_  
_(Everything has changed)_  
_The faces stay the same_

_(San Francisco; December 21st, 2007)_

"_Luke... What happened to you?" Her voice was pained. She couldn't believe that this was the mischievous boy she once knew._

"_Don't you remember all those times we talked? All those times we cursed the gods?" He said. "It can be like old times. The three of us together. Fighting for a better world. Please, Thalia, if you don't agree…"_

_His voice cracked. "It's my last chance. He will use the other way if you don't agree. Please."_

_Thalia shook her head, the telltale prickle of tears already working its way to the corner of her eyes. She wanted to believe him. To go back to being a family, just him, her, and Annabeth, it was more than she could ever dream of. But she knew that could never happen. The past was the past; she couldn't bring it back even if she tried._

"_You aren't Luke." _'You aren't _my_ Luke.'_ "I don't know you anymore." _

_Hurt and betrayal which flashed across his face – she pretended not to have seen those; he had betrayed them first, after all – and he pleaded again, but she just turned a deaf ear. And then, as a stoic mask eventually dawned on Luke's face, Thalia's heart constricted. No, this wasn't her Luke at all._

"_Now!" Percy yelled, and she and Luke charged straight at each other, weapons drawn._

_When we were only kids,  
And our time couldn't end,_

By the time Thalia returned to the Zeus cabin after Capture the Flag, she was exhausted. It had been a close fight, what with Percy and Annabeth leading the campers. But still, one side had to win and the other had to lose, right?

Getting ready for bed, the daughter of Zeus took off her jacket. As she did, something fell out of one of the pockets and clattered to the floor. Curious, Thalia picked it up, only to have the air whoosh out of her like she'd been punched in the gut.

It was _the_ necklace. The one Luke had given her when they were still on the run. He told her that the pendant – which were two puzzle pieces; one decorated with a winged shoe and the other with a lightning bolt – was supposed to symbolize the two of them. _"It's you and me forever, Thals. Never forget that." _He had said.

"Forever, huh." She mumbled, glaring at the pendant. "What happened to that now, you liar!"

She threw the necklace hard against the wall, anger consuming her.

She _hated_ him. She hated him for leaving them, for leaving _her, _because now she has nobody to lean on or turn to when something went wrong. Now she's alone and she always has to stay strong and–-

"_You don't have to be strong all the time."_

Her anger subsided, and she released a shaky breath. She went to pick up the trinket, cradling it delicately in her hands. She couldn't lie to herself.

She didn't hate Luke at all.

_And how tall did we stand,  
With the world in our hands?_

Luke watched through the pool as Thalia slid down to the floor of her cabin. To anyone else, she probably just looked tired or frustrated. But Luke knew Thalia, and he knew that, at that moment, she was already at her breaking point.

There was no way he was just going to sit back and watch her. When he was alive, he'd been given numerous chances, ones he didn't take. Now, he was given another; he wasn't about to let this chance pass him, too.

He swiped at the shallow pool, splashing against the water and distorting the image with his hand. The demigod stood up, his face set in determination.

Now, where was that son of Hades...?

_And we were only kids,  
__And we were best of friends,_

Back at Cabin One, Thalia clutched the necklace tighter to her chest. She could still hear his voice say those simple words, even if it was said years ago.

"_When things become too much, just let go."_

So she did. And the proud daughter of Zeus cried; cried for the times they had, for the times they spent together, for the times they could never take back. She cried for the war, for the lives lost, for the sacrifices that had to be made. But most of all, she cried for a boy with sandy blond hair and mischievous blue eyes. She cried for Luke Castellan, the boy she might have loved _(and still does, actually)._

Eventually, the tears dried up and the Hunter tired herself out, literally crying herself to sleep, slumped against the hard cabin wall with tear tracks staining her face.

The door to her cabin opened, and a figure entered. Upon seeing Thalia, he sighed wistfully, moving towards her. He picked her up and carefully placed her on her bed. Then, he gently pried the necklace out of her fingers and fastened it around her neck. His form flickered – almost like he disappeared for a moment – as he reached out, his fingertips barely grazing her cheek.

"Hey Thals..." Luke began softly, his mumbled words barely louder than a whisper.

_And we hoped for the best,  
__And let go of the rest._

And then, as if a switch had been pulled, everything that was left unsaid between them came tumbling out of his mouth. All the things he kept locked away in his heart for so long– how he had thought it was his fault she became a tree, how he wished he hadn't joined Kronos' side, how he regretted not telling her he loved her – he told her everything. He apologized for everything he'd done, and even more for everything he hadn't.

Soon enough, he finished spilling his heart out to the unconscious girl. At that moment, it was like the weight of the sky was lifted off of his shoulders, and he personally knew how that felt. He hasn't felt this light since they were on the run, caring about nothing else but their family. He stared longingly at her.

"I miss you so much, Sparky." He wanted more than anything to just stay there, by her side, but he knew his time was up.

Luke pressed his cold lips to her forehead, pouring every ounce of emotion he had for the girl into that chaste kiss. Uttering one last apology, he reluctantly stood up and left the girl to rest.

_The shadows and regrets,  
__Let go of the rest._

The son of Hermes exited the Zeus Cabin with a sigh before turning to the shadowy figure leaning by the wall.

"Thanks, Nico." The younger boy just shrugged and gave a small smirk in return.

"Sure." He said, then added as an afterthought. "You know, you're not half bad. Well, when you're not too busy being the Titan Lord of Time and taking over the world, that is." The ghost laughed before turning serious again, shooting a wistful look towards the direction he came from.

"Take care of her for me, would you?" Nico smiled half-heartedly, looking at the cabin door.

"My cousin doesn't need protection, especially from a boy, but I'll do my best." He turned to face the fallen hero, and with one last smile, he watched as the other boy slowly faded back into the Underworld.

"You and Thalia owe me big time, Luke."

Nico could swear the wind sounded more like a mischievous chuckle.

_The shadows and regrets,  
Let go of the rest._

Thalia woke up hours later, eyes fluttering open. She sat up, blinking blearily. She didn't remember going to her bedroll last night, so how did she...

"_Hey Thals..."_

Her eyes snapped open as she bolted up.

_Luke._

She looked around, searching for that unmistakable honey blond hair. But aside from her, the cabin was empty.

Thalia was _so sure _that he'd been there. She remembered every word he whispered against her ear. Despite being a Hunter of Artemis, her heart soared when she found out that he missed her just as much as she missed him. And then she remembered what happened last: a ghostly wisp on her forehead and the mumbled apology that came after.

"_I'm sorry. I wish I could be there for you."_

The familiar weight of the necklace around her neck comforted her, almost like an old friend had come home. She closed her eyes, allowing a small smile to grace her lips.

"Forever's forever, Luke. You can't get rid of me that easily."

* * *

**Honestly, it's like everytime I post a new story, I get suckier and suckier. I really didn't like how Luke's part or the scene near the bridge of the song turned out. Maybe if you guys reviewed and gave me ideas on how to make it better? :D**

**What's up next? Well, I've got a Nico/Rachel Valentines fic planned out (Though, I'm not sure if it'll push through, given my epic slowness in fic writing). It's gonna be called 'Foreign Language'. And for those of you who haven't noticed, my titles usually have some subtitle underneath. (Like for Shadows and Regrets, it's 'We let go of the rest'. Stuff like that) For Foreign Language, it's gonna be 'Boys speak in rhythm, and girls in code. (But the Greeks speak in Italian.)' Brownie points to anyone who can guess the epic song where the first part (the one NOT in a parenthesis) came from.**

**Aaaand, get ready for this, a lot of you guys requested that I continue my other fic, Putting Up a Front. Well, honestly, I have no idea how to continue that. SO INSTEAD, I'll make it into a oneshot collection called 'Through Their Eyes'. It'll be a set of thirteen (tentative number, but... yeah) oneshots about how Percy and Annabeth's relationship looks like to other people. I've already started working on a few of the ones that'll be part of it, so ANTICIPATE! 8D**

**Again, R&R please.**


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